Monday, 22/10/2012 – 130 A.D.
Taking things back to last night, we came
back from having our tea knowing that we’d have to fill in our Chinese visa
applications. We even had to suspend nightly liquor rations to get these things
completed. Whereas Cambodia wanted 100 baht, China want to know everything
about us and everywhere we plan to stay in their country. We had to pre-book
into four hotels just so we could satisfy these requirements, whereas normally
we don’t like to have more than a couple of places sorted down the line (don’t forget
that we’re doing Vietnam before we even set foot in China!)
I felt a bit concerned listing my
occupation as “government official” (though it could be argued that I’m not
even close to being one of those) so I put down “company employee”. Much more
run-of-the-mill and unimportant. I also listed all the details of my immediate
family members (chill out, dad, I didn’t mention the offshore account numbers).
We also realised late on that whereas we had form V2011A, we did not have form
V2011B, which you need to complete if you’re applying for a visa outside of
your own country. Fortunately the hotel’s Diamond Geezers were able to print
copies out for us. Once submitted, the application takes four days, which is
why we were doing five nights in Phnnom Pennn, otherwise we’d probably be
here for…maybe two.
Next morning we were up at 7 and down for a
very tasty breakfast of coffee, bacon, eggs, toast and shrivelled spicy sausage
that Tim wouldn’t touch with a bargepole. The Chinese embassy was open from
08:30 until 11:00, so it made sense to get down there quickly. Surprise,
surprise, there is no public transport system in Puhnom Pen, so it’s tuk-tuk or
bust if you don’t fancy walking. We’d have no shortage of offers – the drivers
parked out the front of the hotel were calling over to us and asking if we
wanted a ride while we were still sitting down eating our breakfast!
My plan was to ask the girl on reception
what a fair price would be for the journey down to “Mao Tse Toung Boulevard” (I
kid you not!) The plan backfired because while I was pointing it out on the
map, tuk-tuk driver sidled up to the desk. Haggling was minimal – Tim said he
had a 10,000 riel note on him. Sounds a lot, right? It’s about $2.50. Although
it was nice and cool at that time of the morning, it was a good job we didn’t try
and walk it as the journey took a good 20 minutes, what with the
traffic-from-hell to contend with. I really cannot believe how we have not seen
at least one accident during our time in Asia!
Upon arriving at the embassy, the guard on
the gate asked for our cameras. The building looked derelict – as if we were
going to take any piccies of it! The plan to come early was a good one and
there was only one other person inside. A far cry from the embassy in Bangkok,
which was akin to catching the last plane out of an imminent warzone. Tim took
his application forward and the guy behind the counter (with no sense of humour
whatsoever) rubbished his efforts like he was a sergeant major dressing down an
untidy private.
“Where is your bank statement?”
“Uh…”
“You need proof of $100 per day for every
day you will be in China.”
“Okay, but…”
“I need all your hotel bookings.”
“I’ve noted them
on the form…”
“No, they all need to be printed out separately.”
“Oh,
I see. Well…”
“And where is travel itinerary?”
“Here
– look, there is proof that I will be flying out of Mumbai in December…”
“No, travel itinerary in China.”
“What?”
“Write down everywhere you will be going
for every day you are in China.”
“Umm,
okay. Do you have a printer?”
“No.”
AAAAARGH!!! All that time checking that we’d
filled out the form to the nth degree and we were several documents short! The
website did not say that we needed to bring that information with us, but as I’ve
said in earlier posts, getting a straight answer regarding visas online is like
trying to find a needle in my old flat. So, we’d have to go back to the hotel,
do the business there, then come back and hope we’d got it right second time. We
got the feeling that guy-at-counter was the type who’d reject our applications
just because he was in a bad mood that morning. Oh please don’t let this be
another situation where they expect a few extra notes chucked their way!
A tuk-tuk was parked outside the embassy
and he naturally came straight to us. I made the mistake of thinking he was
the same tuk-tuk driver who brought us there – no wonder he wasn’t understanding a
word of what I said. I tried to do a deal with him that he’d take us back to
the hotel, wait 20 minutes for us to get what we needed, then bring us back
here. I may have been asking in German. He suddenly dialled a number and gave
me the phone to speak to someone who I couldn’t hear and had barely more grasp
of English than our driver. But somehow this did the trick and we settled on a
$5 round trip.
The end of our road was cordoned off when
we arrived, so we jumped out and agreed with driver to wait for us there.
Considering he didn’t actually know what hotel we were at and hadn’t demanded
half of the money, it was nice that he was taking us on such trust. Up to our
room we rushed, then straight to our laptops and into our data files. It was a
pain in the ass having to look up and type out every train number and flight
number for our time in China, especially as we hadn’t actually booked them yet!
If we didn’t end up getting seats would that constitute a
booting-out-of-country offence?
Once we’d saved what we needed to our
memory stick we took it downstairs and thrust it under the noses of the Diamond
Geezers and Gals who were gathered around the front desk. Given that we needed
two copies of most documents, we must have had 50 pages printed. The staff
smiled sympathetically as I did my best to explain why we needed them, thanking
them unreservedly for helping us out like this. They nodded, then charged us a
dollar for their trouble. Okay, no more unreserved thanks coming their way! All
of this farting about had taken about 40 minutes and I’d agreed a 20 minute
wait with our driver (well, I'd counted to 20 on my fingers and he seemed to get
it). Would he be spitting feathers at us when we turned up, thinking we’d done
a runner on him? Not at all, as it happened, possibly that’s the way it’s done
in Pyon Pem – quote a time, then double it and everyone’s in agreement.
And after another 20 minute drive across
town we re-entered the embassy to see it a lot busier than before. Still, we
had to shuffle our paperwork before getting in line and then the moment came
when the guy who earlier destroyed our dreams eyeballed my fresh application.
He took his time reading it, asking the odd question here and there. He queried
why I had listed 9th November on my itinerary when the Shanghai
booking was for the 16th November. “Because, Sir, on the 9th
November we cross the border, the 16th in Shanghai is listed further
down the sheet.” Duh! [said quietly in my head] He also got me a little worried
when he started going on about flights and I thought for a moment he would want
to see a print out of the booking on our flight out of China, a flight we have
not yet booked. He was actually asking if I was flying out of Phnom Penh and
into China. “No, Sir, I am going to Vietnam first. It’s all there, printed out
in the itinerary.” Finally he nodded and told me to come back on Thursday and
pay then. He even glued my photo onto the form for me. And then Our Kid
swaggers up and stuffs his papers through the window with the words, “It’s all
just the same as his.” The jammy git doesn’t get asked a single question!
After that we fancied a walk right across
town. It ended up being an even longer walk than a single one of our tuk-tuk
drives, but we were on such a buzz after submitting our applications that we
didn’t mind. It gave us a pedestrian’s view of Pnohm Pen…which didn’t make it stand
out any more than it did while sitting on a rickety trailer attached to the
back of a low CC motorbike. The weather was baking, but at least here, unlike
in Siem Reap, there is a bit of a breeze.
Just past the train station – a grand old
building that has long closed its gates to passengers – was the DHL office. We’re
fast acquiring plenty of trinkets which we could do with sending back home, so
we were keen to check out their rates. Hmmm…for the prices they were charging we
could have paid a tuk-tuk driver to run them back to Blighty in a golden safe!
But oh did they have some fantastic aircon in that office and we were
disappointed that we had to leave so soon and head back out into the blazing dustbowl
streets.
We cheated at lunchtime. I’m sad to admit
it, but I finally wanted something other than a noodles or rice-based dish for
lunch. Therefore we hit a KFC-style place called Lucky Seven. It was okay.
Funnily enough, even though KFC has made its way to Phnom Pennnn, Macdonalds
has not – who’d have thunk it?
Getting back to the hotel, we had to
negotiate the treacherous road crossings where anything goes. Bottling it, we
went and stood in the slipstream of a schoolgirl who was a fellow pedestrian trying
to walk across the city – a rare sight. Knowing that this little girl was
between us and any oncoming traffic we confidently strode out into the road,
imitating her route. I did say thank you when we finally got across, but I’m
not sure if she heard / understood.
Back at the Diamond Palace the Diamond
Geezers were charging 50 cents for each piece of laundry. No chance! But
unfortunately it’s jeans I need to do, so I handwashed them and went to hang
them over the balcony, but the slightly-camp male maid (nice guy, but speaks
little English) took them off me and took them to the roof where he hung them
on coat hangers from the pipes. That was cool, but a couple of hours later,
probably when they were just about dry, he brought them back to me wet again
because the rain had come. With spending most of the afternoon in a room
without an outside window, I’d had no idea it was pouring down.
The rain came again just as we were about
to head down to the nearby riverside for tea. Therefore we had a few games of
cards on the balcony’s seating area and waited out the storm. Or so we thought.
Over dinner the rains came down harder and we found ourselves marooned in the
eatery. Oh well, at 50 cents for a beer, that’s not too much of a problem! What’s
more important for 50 cents – a beer or getting a pair of socks through the
laundry? Yes, I knew you’d agree. The only problem with being marooned in the
eatery was that the hawkers were hanging around to stay dry. One enthusiastic child
offered me, in order, a wrist band, a T-shirt, a “girlfriend”, a meeting with
her older sister, and a trip to the killing fields on the back of her brother’s
tuk-tuk. Suffice to say, I took her up on none of these, though maybe I should
have asked if she could get me a Chinese visa for a decent price?
[There's about a tenner there!]
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