All along the watchtower

14 A.D.

What do you think we did? We just smuggled the cans into our room and put the empties in the draw (after checking that we would definitely not have a maid coming in to tidy up next morning). The Grayboys aren’t afraid to break the corners or cut the rules – we even jaywalk (or “Graywalk”) when we feel like it! But at the end of the day, the no alcohol rule is probably in force to stop young lads getting so boozed up and shouty that they can’t remember their own names, let alone how much of their rooms they’ve trashed. We’re both good little boys in that respect.

The Windy City had been pleasant to walk around in (a mere 20 / 72 degrees), but that lulled us into a false sense of security and we slapped on less suncream than we should have. We weren’t quite tomato-faces when we got back, but there was a definite shade of beetroot around the forehead, so a bit of aftersun was applied. Then we went out to cross off another item on the checkbox – eating a “gyro”, which was handy with us being in Greektown because they were advertising them everywhere. We’d assumed them to be some kind of exotic Hellenic sandwich, but they were in fact...plain old doner kebabs – the kind you get at 3 in the morning after a monster beer session. They went down okay, but I was still a bit bloated by bedtime, and exhausted. Last time we did an all-night on the buses we took it easy in the afternoon, but yesterday we’d gone hell for leather around Chicago since arriving. And another lesson was learned.

I slept so hard that I didn’t hear Tim’s alarm going off, or notice him leaving the room to scrub up in the bathroom down the hall. When he came back into the room I had the fright of my life that it was a renegade maid and I jumped out of bed to shield the alcohol drawer, sleep shorts nearly falling to the floor. I should point out that so far The Parthenon has been a pretty good place to stay at – reasonably quiet and tidy, with a strong wi-fi reception and a decent price for laundry services. But the cherry on top of the cake that we’d really been looking forward to was the complimentary breakfast from 7.30 until 10 – our first on the road so far! And it wasn’t bad, if you like cheerios, hard-boiled eggs and toast.

One thing I’ve been doing is writing reviews of the hostels we’ve stayed at for a website that claims to pay for them, though my one and only review is still awaiting staff approval. But I went ahead and took some photos of the common areas and the shower rooms while they were empty. I also realised that at some point I’d recently got rid of my “Where’s George” dollar bill. I got given this in change at a liquor store in D.C. and looked up all of the places it had been across the US. If you have an extremely slow period in your day, you can track it at www.wheresgeorge.com – bill number is A78856131G.

Once we’d saddled up by 10, we headed east to Millenium Park, following the city's old elevated railway known as "The Loop". Possibly it was the lethargy of yesterday that made us see Chicago as a poor man’s New York, but today we looked upon the city with fresh and eager eyes. The first thing we saw was the gigantic Buckingham fountain.

Tim was keen to get the ultimate rainbow shot as the spray from the fountain hit the heat from the sun. I, on the other hand, was keen to use the Gents, so I headed off to do what I had to do (I still cannot get used to using stand-up urinals that can be flushed). When I returned to my brother, he looked somewhat put out...

Tim: Did you flush?

James: What?

Tim: Did you flush?

James: Why do you care if I...

Tim: DID YOU FLUSH?

James: YES, I FLUSHED, ALRIGHT???

[Pause.]

Tim: Look what you did...

I’m sure the fountain’s sudden watery impotence had nothing to do with me and my stand-up urinal, but it never did whoosh back to its original height and Tim didn’t get his rainbow shot, poor lad.

We continued around Millenium Park, stopping at the outdoor theatre venue to hear a butchered rehearsal of Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana (if that’s not instantly recognisable then check out, ahem, the X-Factor theme). Next up was a big glass ball-like thing that skewed one’s reflection and doubled-up as a handy escape from the sun (definitely hotter than yesterday).

After a bit more sightseeing, it was time to go our separate ways. The Willis Tower is open for people to go to the top and stand on the glass floor and see the city below them, as well as across four states. Although I could have been persuaded to hit this (even after going up Empire State and Top of the Rock), I decided that the $20 price tag couldn’t be justified. Tim has a slightly bigger budget than me for the trip, which he has earned, fair play to him, by lodging in other peoples’ houses for the last few years, whereas I have paid out more to enjoy my own company. But that was always part of the deal and I’m totally cool with that.

And besides, I had spotted something far more important than a tall building...I’d finally found an Old Navy store that was across the road and open for business...so would the extra shorts issue finally be solved???